LAZY PEOPLE HAVE NO WORKDAYS
Characters: Labour, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday + 2 Participants
Labour: Nicoleta Roceanu
Monday: Mihai Andra
Tuesday: Mares Valentina
Wednesday: Stefan Adelina
Thursday: Arsenie Ana
Friday: Badoiu Madalina
Saturday: Mares Valentina
Participant1: Armeanu Mihai
Participant2: Manea Robert
Labour: I called some friends over to work together. How beautiful were the evening sittings of the old times! The young and even the old would gather at one’s house and work till late. And I know not why this Romanian habit has been forgotten.
Ahh! Look now at my friends! I am so delighted that you have arrived!
Well! Do you know why I have summoned you? I’d like us to work together, for every one of us to gather at each of our houses, one house at a time, to work and resurrect the spirit of the evening sittings of the old times. What do you say? Would you want that?
All of them: Of course, we do, we do!
Monday: Oh! Let me tell you what I’ve heard about Mondays. I’ve heard that it’s not good to labour on Monday because it’s the head of the week. Rumour has it that it’s not good to remove anything from the house because it would bring calamity and you would give things away all the week. Rumour also has it that it’s not good to work something outside of the house, neither hoeing, reaping, gathering hay, not even collecting firewood.
Monday’s bad water, it brings rain and drowning and if you work during a Monday your hair won’t grow when you’re a girl and it falls when you’re a wife.
And then why work on Monday, aren’t you tired enough from the yesterday’s dance and the drunken bout at the tavern? Well, worry not, as the week’s long.
Labour: The lazy one desires his part but he says to everybody that he can’t!
Tuesday: But let me tell you what I’ve heard from my grandmother! She used to tell me that Tuesday’s not a good day to go on the road and neither go out into the field since the wolves and diseases are lurking around, that Tuesday comes and steals the minds and voices of the girls that weave on Tuesdays. You’re fighting the devil, even the Mum of the Forest will follow you and Dragaica! May the wilderness struck the pitchfork and you see no thread in your life and may you have no shirt that you shall wear at the time of your death and may your hand avoid the pitchfork on Tuesdays! That’s what my grandmother used to tell me!
Labour: Tuesday’s good only for sleeping, good job!
Wednesday: We used to be visited by a crone, you know, crone Florea. She used to tell us this: whoever puts his hand on the strainer on Wednesday, may the Lord’s fire sift upon his head; may he be as restless as flour when you sift it and kneaded may it be of trouble as the dough from the tray when you knead it. It isn’t good to beat the corn either, neither to choose the beans to put it on the fire, neither to set the cloth under the sun, as everything happens the way you do them, and beaten by the Devil in hell you will be as corn is in bags, and laid on hot coals you will be as the cloth under the sun and as you wring the white shirt and spin it into a roll, that is how the demons of that world would squeeze you between their hands.
Labour: That is not laziness only, but stupidity also; tell that to crone Florea!
Thursday: Since we began working and jesting, let me tell you what I know about Thursday. Thursday is bound too: whoever boils shirts, or puts the clucking hen or takes the eggs from the hen’s home, woe to her and her head. Because twinges and arrows befall upon her head, and rocks as big as nuts, lightning and thunder upon her village. Whoever washes herself on Tuesdays brings misfortune in the home and disease in the bones. Alas, only fun, engagements, weddings and feasts are good on Thursdays!
Labour: That would imply that Thursday’s good for parties only! Whoever takes delight in poverty and arrogance, do so!
Participant1: And let us eat a bit more/ A pretzel and a pie/ And let us joke a bit more/ So that we won’t be sad/ Man’s snoring/ Sleep’s stuttering.
Friday: Friday’s not a day for labour. I’ve heard that one evening during the peeling of the corn. Whoever sews does so to her own mouth, whoever weaves, weaves her bowel, whoever sews does so to her own eyes, whoever cuts her nails on Fridays puts thorns on the path that she shall follow on the Doomsday, and whoever stirs the fire stirs her own fire under the cauldron in which she shall boil in Hell.
Labour: If you're a good girl, go and work! There's plenty of time for sleeping! Dear (to Saturday), you're the only one left. Do tell us, maybe it's not right for us to work on Saturdays either!
Saturday: Oh, but don't you know that Saturday is the day of the deceased? Whoever shall sweep the house, make the bed or carry water home upsets the dead! May God keep you from leaving anywhere on Saturdays, just like on Tuesdays, because the world was made between these two days- it began on Tuesday and ended on Saturday. And it is not good to try and outrun God. It is, however, good to drink, for if you drink, you drink for the souls of those who passed.
Labour: Well that’s pranks for you these days, you have to work but don’t have when. And when you think about how big the wonders of the work are… with the nudge of a needle you keep a shirt, with a drop of lime you keep the house clean. Labour is the law of life, not laziness! What do you think?
Participant 2: And now let us stop the labour/ And dance let us begin/ We wish you health and wellbeing/ Thank you for your kindness/ Maybe you’ll have us over once more/ And about us you won’t forget!
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